CIARA'S FANTASY RIDE

Ciara is really planning big things for her third album, Fantasy Ride. Not only has she hooked up with some major production talent (Lil' Jon, Darkchild, and T-Pain), she is making this new effort out to be a concept album.

The album will be split into three different disks with each having five or six songs focused on a particular theme or city.

Disc one, Groove City, will have songs similar to her hit Promise. Next, she will take you to Crunktown which this ATL native knows a lot about. Expect to here Lil' Jon contributions on this disc. Lastly, there will be the Kingdom of Dance which is self explanatory.

We will see if CiCi's vision will come off to be as exciting as it sounds when the album drops this November. Watch out for the yet unknown single and video sometime around August.

THE LOVE IS GONE

Another couple seems to have bit the dust. Bow Wow and Omarion seem to be going at it... and we are not talking about in the bedroom.

Bow Wow has released a remix to the song Looka Boy in which he fires out some not so subtle blows to O.

"The denim jeans is tight. You're an Omarion looka boy."

He then follows by saying:

"I ain't know me and you were gonna be going at each other. I mean, I did it for the fun. You know what I'm saying? But you made a nigga wanna."

Come on guys. Nothing has happened that a little make up sex can't fix!

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF...

Everyone is still reeling from Alicia Keys performance on the BET Awards. SWV, TLC, EnVogue??? Who could have asked for more? Okay, I have heard people say that Total and Xscape were missing, but I say no.

If you think about it, Alicia brought back three groups that were kind of the queens of their individual genres. SWV gave you a kind of round the way, soulful girl vibe. EnVogue were the funky divas who could harmonize like no other. And TLC were the leaders of the "New Jill Swing" movement. Xscape, Total, and other groups road their coattails.

But what guys would we like to see up there? Who would we like to see someone like Usher or Chris Brown bring on stage? Once again, we have broke them up in categories. What is your opinion?


Silk or Boyz II Men? Just like EnVogue, they gave us some great vocals. But who would we want to see do a reunion?

We will go with Boyz II Men, but it was a close call. Only if all four members are there and they sing some of their stuff from CooleyHighHarmony.


Guy or BlackStreet? Both good groups, both with Teddy Riley, but which could stand up to the excitement we had when TLC took the stage.

This one goes to BlackStreet. It would be even hotter if Dave Hollister joined them for Before I Let You GO.


We could see both H-Town and Jodeci just chilling around the hood singing and turning heads with their thug appeal. SWV were our favorite round the way girls, but who is truely their male counterparts.

JODECI! JODECI! JODECI! No contest! Hopefully, Devante Swing would have his stuff back together and look like the sexy mf that we leanred to love.

Plus, with the death of Dino from H-Town, it just wouldn't be the same.

HEATHER LOCKLEAR CHECKS IN TO MENTAL HOSPITAL

Melrose Place actress Heather Locklear recently checked into a mental health facility and is being treated for anxiety and depression.

Her doctor has revealed that he felt Locklear is suicidal and needed to get some urgent help.

We here at Diva Chronicles have no intention on kicking an aged diva while she's down. Hollywood has already done that. We do wish Heather the best and hope she can get better and do some FABULOUS comeback show with Jimmy Smits or something of that nature...

DO YOU THINK TAMEKA FOSTER'S COOCH-CHOOCH SMELLS LIKE FARTS?

We do.

BAKE ANOTHER PIE MARTHA, YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE SOON

Lifestyle guru Martha Stewart was recently denied a British visa due to her criminal convictions four years ago.

Martha's people released a statement expressing Martha's love of the country and her hopes for the matter to be "resolved" soon.

Martha honey, you are now a felon. You and T.I. are cousins, invite him over so you can check out his gun collection. Maybe you can show him how to move some money around.

NAOMI SETTLES DISCRIMINATION SUIT

Diva Diva Naomi Campbell recently settled a discrimination with her former housekeeper.

Ivana Lovas took Campbell to an employment tribunal, accusing the star of making her life a "living hell" in the four months she was working for her.

Lovas also claimed that the supermodel abused her when she threatened to quit and criticized her language skills.


Okay, I never thought I'd say this but I side with Naomi on this one. This chile's tirades are well documented and anyone who willingly works for her has to know what they're getting themselves into. Naomi, keep your money in your pocket from now on. Tell these bitches to kiss your ass and keep it pushin'.

KANYE DISAPPOINTS FANS....AGAIN

Just when I was kicking myself for having to sell my Glow in the Dark Tour ticket due to scheduling conflicts, I hear Kanye stunk up the joint at the Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival.

Kanye was an alarmingly 2 hours late for the show and was met with boos from fans as he took the stage.

To make matters worse, Kanye was originally scheduled to perform at 8:15p.m. He rescheduled to 2:15a.m. and still didn't show up until 4:25a.m.

Mr. West, there are too many hungry rappers out there for you to act as if you can't be dethroned. Remember the days you were hustling to get put on. Get your shit together. Chicago can't afford to lose you because of egotistical acts and laziness.

AMY BOOZEHAG PASSES OUT IN HOUSE

Amy Winehouse fainted at her London home and has been transported to a local hospital to undergo some tests.

Great. Doctors get to waste valuable money and time to reconfirm that Amy is a cracked out venereal diseased whore.

DEN MOTHER CLAY AIKEN HAS A CHILD THE SCIENTIFIC WAY

The flaming queen formerly known as Clay Aiken has gotten his best friend Jaymes Foster pregnant....via a turkey baster.

Foster, sister of reknowned song producer David Foster, is excited at the prospects of motherhood.

Okay, this whole thing has Will and Grace all over it. This is one birth we wish we could get the baby's opinion on. I mean, what kid in the world would want Clay Gayken as his motherfather?

YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!

The apple don't fall far from the tree! As you might have read, we kinda dogged out Bobby Brown in our Father's Day post. Hey, we couldn't help it! Any man who admittingly digs into Whitney Houston's culo to fetch a turd needs to be treated at least once. However, Bobby wasn't always wretched. Between the years 0f 1988 to 1992, he was somewhat delicious, but only for those four years.

Anyway, Bobby's oldest and almost forgotten son, Landon Brown, has gone and spoken against comedian Bill Bellamy. Yes, Bill "lost in 90's pop culture" Bellamy. The last time anybody gave a damn about his ass was when he was in that television show with Tiffany Amber Thiesen who play Kelly Kapowski on Saved by the Bell. Study your TV Guides. The show was called Fastlane and lasted 0.4 seasons.

"I don’t like Bill Bellamy and I don’t care who knows it," Landon says. "My mother and my manager would tell me not to say anything, but I don’t give a damn right now. I don’t like him. I was going to punch that nigga."

"He came to my step-father’s (Carl Payne of Martin fame) performance at Stevie’s. He picks up a bread basket, takes the bread out of the basket, takes the napkin out and walks around for a collection. He walks around and takes up a collection and then gives it to my father. It didn’t have to be Bill Bellamy! I could have been any man, any of my family. I hold them very highly. There’s no way you are going to disrespect my father like that and I’m not going to whip your ass. I should have whipped his ass right then and there, but my grandfather was there and he wanted to whip his ass too. You just don’t do that. You don’t disrespect at somebody’s show. And I hold a grudge!”

Well Landon, if you hold a grudge it should be against Bobby. We did get to see you once on the comical Being Bobby Brown show, but we all know that he was never there for you. And here you are trying to channel his spirit and bad boy attitude on MTV's Rock the Cradle. Although we think you are very tasty, maybe you need to spend your spare time trying to get into counseling sessions with your dear old dad. At least he is not locked up in county right now.

THE GHOST OF MICHAEL JACKSON DOES VEGAS?

Michael Jackson apparently is in talks to headine a show in Vegas. The show would help repay a $23 million dollar debt to Colony Capital, a company which recently saved his neverland ranch.

Look, we're all for digging up vintage talent, but with R. Kelly's perverted ass just being officially let back into general population, we aren't too hyped to support the comeback of another Chester the Molester.

HE'S AT IT AGAIN YA'LL

Mike Tyson is accused of paying $50,000 to put out a hit on a gang member.

The allegation was made by Dwayne Meyers, a reputed former member of the Cash Money Brothers gang, the AP reports.

Meyers testified at the trial of Abubakr Raheem,who's accused of driving a getaway car after turf-war killings.

No word on whether charges will be filed, but if the current O.J. debacle is any indication, expect a trial and a spectacle.

DIVA MOMENT OF THE WEEK: AL SHARPTON QUEENS OUT ON LIL WAYNE

Sheriff Hustler Deacon Reverand Al Sharpton is vexed with Lil Wayne over "Misunderstood," a song that mocks Sharpton and questions his integrity.



The song says:

“You see, you are no MLK/ You are no Jesse Jackson/ You are nobody to me/ You’re just another Don King with a perm/ Just a little more political/ And that just means you a little more un-human/ Than us humans/ And now let me be human by saying/ F**k Al Sharpton and anyone like him”


Sharpton had his people call TV blogs The Daily Fix with a response.

“While some of the rappers don’t like the fact that Rev. Sharpton has been leading marches against the degradation of women in music, a Gallup poll released last week revealed that Rev. Sharpton has a 50% approval rate among African-Americans. So why dignify a response to one rap artist who doesn’t even say anything substantive," a Sharpton rep said.

Oh come the fuck on. Al takes the high road when his integrity is outright questioned but fights like a dog at the trivial war of what Nas should name his album. Hate to say this but Weezy is right, Sharpton is a false leader supports the cause that he can financial capitalize on.

And in case any of us forgot, when have we ever trusted a brutha with a perm?

TIM RUSSERT DIES

We here at Diva Chronicles are journalists at heart and are deeply saddened by the death of Tim Russert. He was the benchmark of political news and never dished bullshit. He was unbiased and respected across party lines and racial divisions. He will sorely be missed.

JANET NOT GETTING THE "FEEDBACK" SHE WANTED

It's sad to see our vintage divas being treated like Vietnam War Veterans. Janet Jackson's album "Discipline" was stripped off all promotion and marketing by her label. Days later she had to scrap her European tour.

No worries however. Janet has just open ticket sales at a more exotic locale...Greensboro, North Carolina.

ONE MOLESTER, TWO MOLESTER: TO JAIL THEY WILL NOT GO

Well I guess it's true what they say....make a hit album and all is forgiven. R. Drip Drip Drip Kelly was acquitted of all charges in his child pornography case.

Counting Michael Jackson, that makes two middle-aged, pathetically perverted and mentally unstable Grammy winning entertainers who have done their dirt and paid to have it cleaned up.

R. Kelly's career will now go back to normal and we can look forward to yet another two years of him remixing everyone's songs.....even though none of us ever asked for it. Word is that he has a remix of "Love in this Club" featuring Patti LaBelle, Melba Moore, and the surving members of Levert in the works.

HOWEVER THERE WAS ONE LOSER OF THIS TRIAL........



Lisa Van Allen. Oh Lisa, Lisa, Lisa. You got all glammed up just to tell the world that you are a dirty, theiving, pedophile enabling whore.

If that wasn't enough, the defense presented evidence that you injected yourself into the case with false testimony. If matters weren't worse, you then had to admit stealing a $20,000 watch from Kells.

You're a down on your luck broad and are the biggest disgrace to come from Chicago since the Cha Cha slide. You have now taken Superhead's title as being the sluttiest tramp in Black Hollywood. (With Meagan Good running a close second)

MARIAH AND NICK: THE PEDOHILLIA OF MIMI

Oh Mariah, sweet lesbionic but brilliant Mariah. We thought that if you were going to go for a hot, young, sexy lover you would've chosen Alicia Keys. But we underestimated you. You chose career sliding but the ever so scrumptious Nick Cannon.

The marriage is a good look on two parts. Nick gets to spend money he hasn't seen since Drumline and Mariah gets to keep this whole American Pie Stiffler's mom thing going which has done wonders for record sales.

All good jokes must come to an end however, and we believe that when all is said and done, Nick will reach the stark realization that the only person who wears the pants in Mariah's house is DaBrat.

That's why we here at Diva Chronicles have targeted February 14, 2009 as D Day for this LGBT Circus to cease.

We are also making a similar prediction for Aloecious Hotbox and Ursula Furback. (see below)