LOVE IS IN THE AIR

It's midnight, the mood is right, amd you are holding your girl tight. There is only one thing that is missing that would really bring this romantic moment to a climax.

You need... THUGGIN LOVE! Seagram Records brings you this classy two disc special that will tease and tantalize your musical and sexual senses.



Three 6 Mafia - Slob On My Knob
Lil' Jon & the Eastside Boys - Stick That Thang Out (Skeezer)
Jackie-O - Pussy Real Good
Akinyele - Put It In Your Mouth
Lil' Kim - How Many Licks
Nelly - Tip Drill
Plies - Ms. Pretty Pussy
50 Cent ft Lil' Kim - Magic Stick
Khia - My Neck, My Back
Akon - Smack That Ass
Snoop Dogg - I Just Wanna Fuck You
Trina ft Tweet - No Panties
Ludacris ft Trina & Foxy Brown - What's Your Fantasy (Remix)
...AND MORE

So take hold of that special someone, turn down the lights, and toast those forties to THUGGIN' LOVE. Available at Happy Liquor for $5.95.

DO YOU THINK TAMEKA FOSTER'S COOCH-CHOOCH SMELLS LIKE FARTS?

We do.

BAKE ANOTHER PIE MARTHA, YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE SOON

Lifestyle guru Martha Stewart was recently denied a British visa due to her criminal convictions four years ago.

Martha's people released a statement expressing Martha's love of the country and her hopes for the matter to be "resolved" soon.

Martha honey, you are now a felon. You and T.I. are cousins, invite him over so you can check out his gun collection. Maybe you can show him how to move some money around.

ENDAGERED DIVA #1

Well Tasia Mae, I do believe you are approaching your 14th minute of fame. Us blacks thought Fantasia would be the answer to modern music when we broke our fingers to get her that American Idol title and what do we get? Pink hair, crotch sweat, and cat suits is what we get.

You thought Tasia Mae would've got it pushing after Jennifer Let Me Eat Cake Hudson had her unbelievable year. (Expect us to include J Hud on this list soon...we've had an Effie before, we know how this thing is going to go down.)

However, Fantasia has fallen from being a talented and slightly illiterate media darling to being Lil Mo with a little rasp on her throat. She also missed 50 performances in the Color Purple and has let tawdry pictures (like the one shown above) pop up in the wrong hands.

I think your career can be saved Fantasia. So put down the dick and the baby and get in the studio! (and the gym)

CHEETAH WHAT, CHEETAH WHO?

Sweet P’s Candies and Desserts located in Oak Park, Illinois, has just announced that it is auditioning girls between 13 – 18 years of age to be a part of its new girl group (The Sweet P’s).

The group will perform at block parties, birthday parties, pajama parties, promotional events, and other special occasions. The new group will also march in Oak Park’s 4th of July parade. Auditions to be held Sunday July 2nd.

We think no auditions to need to be had. There are three girls with nothing to do we here at DC think are great fits. (see below)



We know these hoes from 3LW are old, but they need work!

WEE BIT OF WEEKLY SCRUMPTULENCE: JENSEN ATWOOD

I love me some Wade! He was the heart (and body) of Noah's Arc. Although, I missed his stint on the show Dante's Cove, I am definitely not gonna let his new calender slip through my hands.

Word on the street is that his new 16 month calender is flying off the shelves and we see why. The brotha is perfection and his smile is endearing and sensual at the same time.

Be sure to grab your copy of his calender too at www.menoferos.com.

DIVA IN DISTRESS: BERNADETTE STANIS

Going through a messy divorce? Just lost your mother to cancer? Losing your house to the man? Well, call up Bernadette Stanis and for $12.99 she will make your world feel all better!

We are not making this up! Go to her website www.myspace.com/thelmaofgoodtimes and read all about it. For a small fee, she will call you for any special occassion or celebration you can think of.

I don't know about you, but if Thelma from Good Times calls me, I am going to cuss her out for wasting my daytime minutes. If I would have to pick a washed up television diva to call me, I would at least pick Darius McCrary from Family Matters. Messing around with Superhead probably has given him some exciting stories to tell... and herpes.

WEEKLY MEMORIAL FUND: YVETTE WILSON

No one can play the role of the sassy, all up in your business neighbor better than Yvette Wilson. In the nineties, she was all over our televsion screens with Moesha, The Parkers, and Thea.

Thea Vidale. We must take up a collection for you as well. We know that you competing on Last Comic Standing was a blatant cry for help. Don't worry. We have some food stamps in the mail for you already.

But back To Yvette!

Yvette has not had work since Ashanti was an unknown, talentless furball stuck in Irv Gotti's throat. There has to be someone who could use her in there sitcom or movie. Couldn't she at least be cast as the new Pine-Sol lady or something? Or better yet, maybe she will have a stint on Celebrity Fit Club. Yvette, keep your fingers crossed. We believe in you.

ONE NIGHT ONLY WITH JENNIFER HUDSON

Guard your pies and gyros Chicago because Jennifer Hudson is back in town! We had the pleasure of hanging out with J. Hud as she shopped, ate, signed autographs, ate, digested, and made room for more!

First, Den Mother Tafeta Rose and I accompanied Ms. Lady Leggings to some of her favorite boutiques downtown on the Magnificent Mile: Charlotte Russ and Forever 21. We didn't stay for long though. Not only did Jennifer not find anything that she liked in her size besides a mauve moomoo with a plunging neckline, she was asked to leave due to getting mild sauce on some of the merchandise.

At first Jen was a little down, but she is a survivor. She bounced back quicker than a five year old off of her stomach. We went to grab a bite to eat at Bennigan's and all was forgotten.

Time really flew and we stayed after the restaurant closed. We decided to go down to Boystown to have a few drinks. Honey, all them queens were just all over Jennifer! They made her do an impromptu concert which included And I Am Telling You, Love You I Do, and Britney's Gimme More. Besides the occassional burping, she did great!

Den Mother Taffeta Rose had a vodka and pineapple, I got a long island, and Jennifer got a chocolate cake shot. I was intrigued. I ordered one too and it was actually very delicious. Jennifer had more than one and we ended up having to carry her out of the club.

All in all, it was a great time had. Look out for Jennifer in Sex and the City. She was fabulous!

WEEKLY PIECE OF FAGGOTRY: DIDDY

Just when we thought P. Diddy, Diddy, Puff Daddy, Madame Bendalot, or whatever he decides to be called this week couldn't get any more extra, he does something that just makes us ask why. Ms. Combs has told a UK magazine that he waxes... EVERYTHING!

"Then I'll have a manicure and pedicure - and yes, I wax as well. Men owe it to women to make sure they are well-groomed ... I wax my privates. I also wear my fragrance, Unforgivable Black," he said.

I wonder, does he have a landing strip down there or maybe it's in the shape of a pineapple symbolizing the fruit that he really he is?

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: REAL WORLD HOLLYWOOD

The Real World has renewed its franchise with season 20. The past few seasons have not had this much juice! Tonight's episode was delicious. But in case you didn't set your TiVo:

- After Joey left the show last week, the roommate counter was at 5. Two newbies were introduced, Brittany and Nick (see above for his scrumptulence).

- Brittany seems okay at first. She is a cool, modelesque black chick. Sparks between her and Will fly instantly. Something is going to happen... but when?

- Although Greg was tasty (in a cocky kind of way), Nick is definitely an upgrade. His personality is fresh, fun, and friendly. Perhaps a little too friendly. Ol' boy is getting mighty comfortable mighty soon.

- Brittany and Will's flirting is off the chain. Keep in mind that she has a boyfriend and, if you all remember, he has been kicking it with Janelle kinda hard lately. However, Janelle is out of town for a few days. When the cat is away...

- After a touch and go convo, Brittany brushes Will off. Will decides he will not talk to Brittany anymore... EVER! He wants to either bust her down or cut all ties with her. Wow!

I think that we are about to see tensions flair between Brittany and Will. They both want each other and its only a matter of time before Janelle gets left out in the cold. She got her fifteen minutes back in the limelight. She should be happy. I am sure Janelle will be on the next Real World/Road Rules challenge.

Previews for next week show Nick getting caused out. See what did we tell you about him getting too comfortable?

Tune in next week for our recap of the new show.

NAOMI SETTLES DISCRIMINATION SUIT

Diva Diva Naomi Campbell recently settled a discrimination with her former housekeeper.

Ivana Lovas took Campbell to an employment tribunal, accusing the star of making her life a "living hell" in the four months she was working for her.

Lovas also claimed that the supermodel abused her when she threatened to quit and criticized her language skills.


Okay, I never thought I'd say this but I side with Naomi on this one. This chile's tirades are well documented and anyone who willingly works for her has to know what they're getting themselves into. Naomi, keep your money in your pocket from now on. Tell these bitches to kiss your ass and keep it pushin'.

KANYE DISAPPOINTS FANS....AGAIN

Just when I was kicking myself for having to sell my Glow in the Dark Tour ticket due to scheduling conflicts, I hear Kanye stunk up the joint at the Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival.

Kanye was an alarmingly 2 hours late for the show and was met with boos from fans as he took the stage.

To make matters worse, Kanye was originally scheduled to perform at 8:15p.m. He rescheduled to 2:15a.m. and still didn't show up until 4:25a.m.

Mr. West, there are too many hungry rappers out there for you to act as if you can't be dethroned. Remember the days you were hustling to get put on. Get your shit together. Chicago can't afford to lose you because of egotistical acts and laziness.

AMY BOOZEHAG PASSES OUT IN HOUSE

Amy Winehouse fainted at her London home and has been transported to a local hospital to undergo some tests.

Great. Doctors get to waste valuable money and time to reconfirm that Amy is a cracked out venereal diseased whore.