Sunday, August 3, 2008

CELEBS RUN FOR THEIR LIVES AMID GUNSHOTS INSIDE ATL CLUB



Nia Long,Diddy, and Gabrielle Union were among partygoers at Club Dreamz who ran for their lives when a random Negro opened fire inside the club.

Shots rang out around 3 a.m. One person was injuired and is in stable condition.

The night was hosted by Jermaine Dupri, who rang in his third annual So So Def Summerfest Weekend.

Glad to know everyone is ok. Lord knows Nia Long needs to stay alive for her thriving career.....right.

I'M ON A WENDY WILLIAMS DIET



So some of you may be wondering why the Wendy Williams and Omarosa fiasco hasn't graced this site. Well, being that Diva Chronicles does not stand for consistent pitfalls in fashion, weave choice, and class, Wendy Williams is not worthy of being mentioned.

Omarosa, a cute girl, but still not my cup of tea. Hopefully she'll leak a sex tape with Chance from I Love New York. Maybe then she'll be relevant again.

That is all.

BRANGELINA'S BABY PICS GO FOR $14 MILL



People Magazine paid a cool $14 mill for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's newborn baby photos. The couple had a pair of twins and this marks the second time People has won the rights to feature the couple's children.

All of the money will go to charity and People will unveil the first photo on its webite this Sunday evening.

Kudos Brangelina for pimping your children in the name of charity. Hopefully the name of the charity isn't the Anglelina Jolie Lips Stay Full Defense Fund.

KELLY BUNDY HAS CANCER



Christina Applegate has been diagnosed with breast cancer and is presently undergoing treatment.

Applegate's doctors were able to catch the disease early, so it is not life threatening.

Great to hear, considering Christina has cashed in big from her "Married With Children" days when she played the ditzy floozed out teenage bombshell Kelly Bundy. Now Applegate is an Emmy Award-winning actress with her own show.

What ever happened to Bud Bundy?

Friday, August 1, 2008

YUNG BERG BEEF CONTINUES



Yung Berg's concert attendance has dwindled since he dogged dark skinned women on a recent live radio broadcast.

Wow. Surprised people actually paid to see this guy. If you go to any local gay club in Chicago, you're bound to run in to him....free of charge.

NO ONE LOVES NEW YORK



So Tailor Made finally unloaded New York, now adding him to the long list of men who'd rather bathe in motor oil before dating this chick.

I mean come on, if you can't pull Flavor Flav, you're cooch-cooch has officially hit its expiration date. Her fifteen minutes of fame should be up right about.....

CELEBRITY MEMORIAL FUND: CHRISTINA MILIAN



A MILLI...YOU'RE DONE. From around 2002 to 2005, the world was typhooned by tone deaf songstresses who got by simply on looks and sex appeal. (Christina Milian, Ashanti, Tearra Marie, etc.)Christina Milian got in on the action, really playing up the whole "Daddy's Dirty Little Girl" routine...must we forget her dancing in mud in the "Dip it Low" video?


Then came Rihanna, a similarly looking singer who can keep craking out the hits.

Considering A Milli was dropped from her label and there are no promising takers, it' safe to say you can possibly catch her for a live performance at your nearest unemployment office.

WEEK'S BIT OF SCRUMPTULENCE



STEVIE J!!!!!!!!! Oh my, just the thought of his name makes me act like a little school girl!

This underwear ad appeared nearly ten years ago and, my word is bond,the man could get it.

LUDA SIT DOWN



So....Luda. You released "Politics: Obama is Here" and proceed to call Hillary Clinton a bitch, in addition to hurling insults at Dubya and Old Man McCain.

Luda. Baby. We love. However, you in addition to the rest of these slippery tounged negroes (Jesse Jackson, Bernie Mac) need to chill out and let Barack WIN THE DAMN PRESIDENCY FIRST!

Thursday, July 31, 2008

SHE'S NOT DEAD YET?



Liz Taylor was admitted to a Los Angeles hospital for a temporary precautionary visit.

A number of health issues have dogged Taylor through the years, including congestive heart failure in 2004 that, compounded with spinal fractures and the effects of scoliosis, left her nearly bedridden.

Okay, let me get this straight. Anna Nicole, dead. Rick James, dead. Heath Ledger, dead. Liz Taylor has consumed more drugs than Wu Tang Clan and this bitch still has ticks left? I'm baffled.

CAN I HAVE A LATTE WITH AN OUNCE OF KUSH ON THE SIDE?



Word is that a bill which would legalize marijuana has been presented to Congress.

Contrary to popular belief, a lot of black folks think legal weed is a bad idea. (Big ups to my dopeboyz)

Thursday, July 24, 2008

ONE IS THE MAGIC NUMBER



There is now one diva, I Madame Jisele De La Renta who shall now take the helm of the revamped, and renewed Diva Chronicles. Enjoy.

Friday, July 11, 2008

MESSY JESSE CAUGHT IN A NICCA MOMENT



Oh Messy Jessy is at again...

Rev. Jesse Let My People Go Jackson was caught saying lewd remarks about historic presidential Barack Obama, at an event where Obama was a key speaker.

The now irrelevent icon has had to field a flurry of criticism from the media and the black community.

Our thoughts on the matter are quite neatly summed up by Nas who had his two-cents to toss in on the matter:


“I think Jesse Jackson, he’s the biggest player hater.His time is up. All you old n—as, time is up. We heard your voice, we saw your marching, we heard your sermons. We don’t wanna hear that sh– no more. It’s a new day. It’s a new voice. I’m here now. We don’t need Jesse; I’m here. I got this. We got Barack, we got David Banners and Young Jeezy’s. We’re the voice now. It’s no more Jesse. Sorry. Goodbye. You ain’t helping nobody in the ‘hood. That’s the bottom line. Goodbye, Jesse. Bye!”

TEAIRRA MARI MAKES A COMEBACK



Teairra Mari is making a comeback. Okay, while we give you readers a minute to work up the energy to give a damn, news is that Teairra is now signed to Interscope Records.

Mari was previously signed to Roc-A-Fella records and was then dropped...right before her high school graduation.

I guess it's true what they say....for some people, your high school years are as good as it's gonna get.

CELEBRITY MEMORIAL FUND: LIL JON



Chile, Martin Lawrence was right! Black folks are very cold to their rappers. It seems like just yesterday we were getting slutty in the club to a Lil Jon track. I guess considering R. Kelly and T-Pain has every black song covered until Barack Obama's inauguration, Lil Jon will be collecting unemployment checks like the rest of us. Or worse, maybe we'll see him homeless on a block in ATL with a sign saying "Will say YEAH for weed."

Monday, July 7, 2008

VACATION'S OVER, BACK TO THE DISH

SORRY TO OUR FANS FOR THE DROUGHT IN MATERIAL....IT WAS BACK TO BACK GAY AND BLACK GAY PRIDE FOR CHICAGO...LET'S JUST SAY WE HERE AT DIVA CHRONICLES ARE THANKFUL TO HAVE SEEN TROUSERS AND GORGEOUS BLACK MEN FROM ACROSS THE COUNTRY. GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

CIARA'S FANTASY RIDE


Ciara is really planning big things for her third album, Fantasy Ride. Not only has she hooked up with some major production talent (Lil' Jon, Darkchild, and T-Pain), she is making this new effort out to be a concept album.

The album will be split into three different disks with each having five or six songs focused on a particular theme or city.

Disc one, Groove City, will have songs similar to her hit Promise. Next, she will take you to Crunktown which this ATL native knows a lot about. Expect to here Lil' Jon contributions on this disc. Lastly, there will be the Kingdom of Dance which is self explanatory.

We will see if CiCi's vision will come off to be as exciting as it sounds when the album drops this November. Watch out for the yet unknown single and video sometime around August.

BARACK AND COLIN POWELL JOINING FORCES?


Word has it that Barack Obama and Colin Powell met privately two weeks ago in Powell's personal office in Alexandria.

Powell's spokeswoman, Peggy Cifrino, confirmed that the two did in fact meet for what she calls "just an informal conversation."

Obama's camp has not commented as of yet.

This meeting comes on the heels of a meeting Powell had with John McCain just a week before. Both sides seem to be trying to woo Powell. Obama could use him when dealing with matters of national security issues, the one topic that McCain seems more equiped to handle.

Bring out the big guns, Barack. We want to be able to call you Mr. President!

THE LOVE IS GONE



Another couple seems to have bit the dust. Bow Wow and Omarion seem to be going at it... and we are not talking about in the bedroom.

Bow Wow has released a remix to the song Looka Boy in which he fires out some not so subtle blows to O.

"The denim jeans is tight. You're an Omarion looka boy."

He then follows by saying:

"I ain't know me and you were gonna be going at each other. I mean, I did it for the fun. You know what I'm saying? But you made a nigga wanna."

Come on guys. Nothing has happened that a little make up sex can't fix!

A WEE BIT OF WHITE SCRUMPTULENCE: ORLANDO BLOOM



Oh, spank me now and tell me that you love me! Hollywood "It Boy" Orlando Bloom is too sexy for words.

He has so many different looks and they all work for him. The clean cut look works for him, but what really gets our blood simmering is his role as Will Turner in the Pirates of the Caribbean series.

So here's to Orlando Bloom who shivers me timbers!

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: REAL WORLD HOLLYWOOD



With one episode to go, Real World Hollywood never fails to entertain. The cast went to Mexico, swam with dolphins, drank tequila body shots... etc... etc.

What we really want to talk about is the foursome that Dave, Will, and two white chicks participated in!

Who out there would love to have any kind of sexual tryst with Will? Show of hands... raise them high! (Yes, I have two up)

It seems like for a good five episodes, Will has been teasing us with nudity that is covered up with a damn smiley face, black box, or blurred circle. Where can I get the unrated, unedited, unclothed version of this damn show! Never before have I wanted to lick a television screen so bad.

That brotha has something that I really want to get my hands on. If you see Will in the streets, tell him that I am looking for him.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

BRITISH MUSIC HEADS SAY "NAH, I'M GOOD" TO JAY Z



Jay Z is not the cup of tea in Britain. Fans have objected Jay Z being the headliner of this year's Glastonbury Music Festival, a traditionally rock and roll event.

Even Trip-Hop artist Tricky (Yes, Lynn’s music partner and boyfriend on the TV show “Girlfriends”) has chimed in.

In an interview on Friday with the U.K.’s National Post, he said “I can understand in some ways, because an American artist headlining Glastonbury is probably a bit weird for people. And the fact that it’s an urban artist - and he’s not actually that good."

Wow. Sounds like haters to me. Fuck Tricky. He's just mad because Girlfriends could go into syndication for a trillion fa-fillion years and he will never see the money Jigga presently has. Keep it pushing Jigga and stack ya bread.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF...

Everyone is still reeling from Alicia Keys performance on the BET Awards. SWV, TLC, EnVogue??? Who could have asked for more? Okay, I have heard people say that Total and Xscape were missing, but I say no.

If you think about it, Alicia brought back three groups that were kind of the queens of their individual genres. SWV gave you a kind of round the way, soulful girl vibe. EnVogue were the funky divas who could harmonize like no other. And TLC were the leaders of the "New Jill Swing" movement. Xscape, Total, and other groups road their coattails.

But what guys would we like to see up there? Who would we like to see someone like Usher or Chris Brown bring on stage? Once again, we have broke them up in categories. What is your opinion?


Silk or Boyz II Men? Just like EnVogue, they gave us some great vocals. But who would we want to see do a reunion?

We will go with Boyz II Men, but it was a close call. Only if all four members are there and they sing some of their stuff from CooleyHighHarmony.


Guy or BlackStreet? Both good groups, both with Teddy Riley, but which could stand up to the excitement we had when TLC took the stage.

This one goes to BlackStreet. It would be even hotter if Dave Hollister joined them for Before I Let You GO.


We could see both H-Town and Jodeci just chilling around the hood singing and turning heads with their thug appeal. SWV were our favorite round the way girls, but who is truely their male counterparts.

JODECI! JODECI! JODECI! No contest! Hopefully, Devante Swing would have his stuff back together and look like the sexy mf that we leanred to love.

Plus, with the death of Dino from H-Town, it just wouldn't be the same.

A WEE BIT OF WEEKLY SCRUMPTULENCE: THE MEN OF TYLER PERRY'S PLAYS


Terrell Carter

Christian Keyes

Ryan Gentles

Tyler Perry sure knows how to pick em. He picks some of the sexiest men for his movies and plays. Think about the movies... Boris, Shemar, Idris, Michael Jai White... need we go on?

Ryan Gentiles, Christian Keyes, and Terrell Carter have been at the heart of many of his plays. They made plays like Madea Goes to Jail and What Happens in the Dark even more enjoyable.

We welcome these men onto our tv screens and our beds as well!

JENNIFER HAS A TASTE OF BEEFCAKE IN THE SPOTLIGHT



Gold star for Jennifer for her new video "Spotlight." She looks fierce as ever and was accompanied by leading man, Ryan Gentles.

HEATHER LOCKLEAR CHECKS IN TO MENTAL HOSPITAL



Melrose Place actress Heather Locklear recently checked into a mental health facility and is being treated for anxiety and depression.

Her doctor has revealed that he felt Locklear is suicidal and needed to get some urgent help.

We here at Diva Chronicles have no intention on kicking an aged diva while she's down. Hollywood has already done that. We do wish Heather the best and hope she can get better and do some FABULOUS comeback show with Jimmy Smits or something of that nature...

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: REAL WORLD HOLLYWOOD



So much drama stuffed in an hour, but we can sum it up in a few statements.

- Nick is so extra! After Sarah aka Ms Prim and Proper Perfection gets drunk, Nick decides it is funny to take pictures of her puking in a trash can. Maybe if it was Will or Dave, this action could have been strangely justifiable, but he has only been there two weeks! Like we have said before, he is getting WAY TOO COMFORTABLE!

- Sarah and Nick have it out somewhere between her fifth to sixth hour throwing up. During the whole camera incident, Sarah calls Nick "Charles Barkley". Lets see, they both have close shaved heads and love white women. The comparison is not so far fetched. THey patch things up between them after the lamest argument ever, but are still keeping their distance.

- Brianna goes in the studio to record a demo. The song is actually something that I could hear being played on the radio. She has talent. Big ups to her!

- Sarah, Kim, and Nick get a chance to work for movies.com. During their experience they meet a upbeat, motivating guy with cancer who is supervising the project. He especially takes to Nick who he deeply believes in. When news comes that he has passed away in the hospital, Nick is hit the hardest.

Next week, the cast goes to Mexico. Drinking, foursomes, and heartbreak lie in the horizon. I can't wait!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

BET AWARDS PLAY BY PLAY: MAXWELL IS BACK


In the second most scream worthy moment of the night, Maxwell graced the BET stage to sing Simply Beautiful during the Al Green tribute. There wasn't a dry seat in the house.

The man may have cut off his hair, but never did he lose any cool.

And since we are here... REVEREND AL GREEN! His music had everyone in the place grooving. Good music has the power to cross generational lines and everyone from Jordin Sparks to Mary Mary to Derek Luke were singing every word. Preach on Preacher!

BET AWARDS PLAY BY PLAY: CHRIS BROWN


Let us go on record to say that Chris Brown is the coldest R&B male out right now. Vocally, he is a very competent singer. He can hang with Usher, Justin, and Ne-Yo. His dancing skills, however, is where he really shines.

After singing his hit With You which sounded better than Usher and Ne-Yo's earlier performances, he joined Ciara in a dance break. These bitches worked it out and Ms. CiCi looked FABULOUS! Go young talent!

BET AWARDS PLAY BY PLAY: ALICIA PERFORMS; BRING OUTS FABULOUS DIVAS






Alicia Keys is fabulous all besides herself, but she has done something simply mind blowing that we at Diva Chronicles couldn't help but stand on our sofa and scream!

Ms. Keys started her set by performing Teenage Love Affair. She looked bronzed and beautiful on the stage. She started singing SWV "Weak" and in a shocker that only BET could bring you, Leelee, Coko, and Taj took the stage.

Another change of song led us to En Vogue; Maxine, Terry, Cindy, and Dawn. It was wonderful to see all four of them together again.

Lastly, Alicia announced it wasn't over and brought out T-Boz and Chilli to sing Waterfalls. One couldn't help but miss Left Eye, but it was still simply beautiful so see all our vintage divas.

BET AWARDS PLAY BY PLAY: THE DREAM A NO SHOW?


I know it's summer and every rib joint from LA to Biloxi has a special going on, but what could've been on The Dream's schedule that would've kept him from showing up to get his Best New Artist trophy?

BET AWARDS PLAY BY PLAY: USHER PERFORMS TWICE?


OOPS...THAT WAS NE-YO. THEIR PERFORMANCES WERE SO SIMILAR WE GOT CONFUSED. OUR MISTAKE. CUTE SUIT THOUGH!

BET AWARDS PLAY BY PLAY: KEYSHIA COLE STINKS UP THE JOINT


We love you Keyshia. We play your albums quite frequently here at the Diva Chronicles villa. However, Keyshia's performance on the BET Awards was so bad, I thought I was watching a really bad version of Drag Idol. Lil' Kim tried to come out and help Keish out (where was Missy? I know Gay Pride season has started but she could've put the clit down to help out her girl). However, Keyshia's performance was doomed from the start. Good luck next time Keyshia girl.

BET AWARDS PLAY BY PLAY: JEEZY STEP BACK...KANYE STEP UP


Young Jeezy learned the hard way that if you're gonna share the stage with Kanye...you better be upon your game. Kanye stormed the stage and completely took over Jeezy's performance, leaving him to look and sound like Kanye's hype man.

BET AWARDS PLAY BY PLAY: JENNIFER, REMEMBER THE OSCAR


So Jennifer Let me Eat Cake Hudson presented an award with Terrance Howard. Now, we won't sneeze at fashion. Jennifer's outfit...FIERCE...her acting in the skit leading up to the award, however, was seriously left to be desired. Jennifer, honey, put the Effie act in the closet, you don't always have to speak like a slave when in public. Make Chicago proud!

BET AWARDS PLAY BY PLAY: USHER'S BACK WITH A VENGEANCE


If Usher would've actually sang rather than lip synch, his BET Award Opening performance would get perfect marks. Perfect way to start out the show and ebmark Justin Timberlake's much needed hibernation season. Timberlake rarely likes to be out the same time Usher is....maybe it's because everyone knows Timberlake is nothing but Usher bathed in a tube of white out.

Monday, June 23, 2008

WEEKLY BIT OF THROWBACK SCRUMPTULENCE: DENZEL WASHINGTON



Arguably one of the sexiest men that has graced the big scene, Denzel Washington has always carried himself with dignity and a cool swagger that makes white and black knees weak.

His particular brand of sexy knows no limit of time. Denzel was fine in the 80's and is still gorgeous now. So When did he look the best?


Mo Betta Blues? Artsy and playerish?


Philadelphia? Articulet and intelligent?


Or Training Day? Rough and edgy?